“It Is Your Day Too…”, a guy’s perspective

Why put off tomorrow what you can do… now!

The better you manage your time, the less stressed you’ll be when the big day comes. The misnomer here is that all future brides completely control the planning process. In reality, preparing for a wedding takes plenty of teamwork, and lots of buckling down on both ends. This means responsibilities ranging from what food you can both agree to serve, the type of beverages that your friends like, or even which one of your cousins need to stay away from each other in the seating chart. Sit down with your lovely fiance, create a to-do list to gather your bearings, and set goals with dates.  The easier you make life for her, the easier it is for her to reciprocate. Get it done sooner than later, so that you’re not stressed out later!

This is a celebration, not your job!

The idea of a day of flowers, pictures, and a stuffy, sweaty tuxedo is enough to scare any guy. But keep in mind that your wedding day and the time leading up to it is what you make it. I’ve been in 5 weddings in the past year, and let me tell you, the more at ease the groom, the more fun the experience. Be creative! Last month, the night before my best friend’s wedding we went to Walmart at 11pm to purchase a T-Ball set and some balls. We then had a home run derby in the parking lot of the hotel, which happened to be in a remote area of the NC Mountains. The derby not only broke the ice (no pun intended, since it was super cold that night) between the groomsmen that didn’t know each other that well; it also set the tone for one of the most memorable nights of our lives! Creativity is key.

Make yourself heard (respectfully)

Once again, most grooms forget that this is their wedding too. Don’t let things bottle up!  This is not to say that you run the show, guys. Be respectful to your lady.  Show her that you care for her while setting the tone for the rest of your lives together by being open, honest, and fair in the process of planning your nuptials.  If you don’t agree with something, make yourself heard.  At the same time, choose your battles. Create a list of what is important (mental or on paper/computer) and stick to it.  If food is important to you and flowers aren’t, then don’t complain when the roses are “too red”, and not say anything when they serve “Spam Tartar” at the reception.

Bring in help!

Once again, this isn’t work, so it shouldn’t be treated as such! We’ve already established that you shouldn’t put off planning until the last second, but we didn’t say that you shouldn’t be able to ask for help! A good wedding coordinator can take a lot of the stress out of planning your wedding. They sit down with you and your spouse-to-be, create a “wish-list” of how you want your wedding and what that will look like budget-wise. Then they can fill holes for things you might not have thought about (like vendors for food, DJ Equipment, floral arrangements, etc…). The best part? Since they’re wedding liaisons, they typically get in touch with the vendors for you!  This not only takes a lot of stress out of the planning aspect, it also frees you up to be creative and fun in the process of mapping out the wedding.

Finally… Make it memorable.

Remember, this only happens once. Don’t take advantage of that! Of course this is a stressful time, but keep in mind that it’s only as stressful as you make it! Think of this as what it is: A beautiful celebration of two becoming one. In guys’ terms? It’s a huge party for you and your wife! Scared of dancing at the reception, because you might look foolish? Don’t be! I guarantee that your moves are better than mine, but the fun is in not caring and taking in the joy of the festivities.

So remember,

• don’t procrastinate
• create a to-do/wish list
• be creative (not only in planning the wedding, but the events leading up to the big day)
• be honest and make yourself heard with healthy communication and dialogue, while also listening
• event coordinators can be a HUGE help, and can take a lot of stress out of the occasion
• don’t fret, have fun, and remember to embrace the evening. It is YOUR Party!